And I thought that's exactly what I want, for the writing to enact the claustrophobia of being trapped in a situation, an apartment, with an abusive man. It got me thinking that maybe patriarchy, machismo, the toxic culture of it also persists because we continue to be invested in survivor narratives? Why should the writing be comfortable, easy, even relatable? We are inundated with narratives that say yes, things are hard, but in the end even in the most challenging circumstances, if you find the resources in yourself, even when the system has a boot on your neck, things turn out well. That's part of the myth making in the dominant immigrant narratives. But we are not okay.